Diary Notes

For several years now Danilo have been publishing the annual Doctor Who Calendar, and in recent years have added a diary and other items to their release list. This year's offerings are the Calendar and Pocket Diary, and also a Desk Calendar.

The main release is the large square Calendar, covering all of 2012. The cover features the main players and promotional image from the 2011 season: the 11th Doctor, Amy and Rory reflected in an Astronaut's helmet. The internal pages cover the main characters to have appeared in the season, but the selection is poor and is centred on the first half of the season only. One assumes that Danilo didn't have available to them pictures from the latter part. So we have Pirates and Gangers and Ood and Sontaran and Cybermen, but no Dolls, Minotaur, Silurian or Cybermats.  The design is also very basic - cut out photos of the characters against a starfield background - given some of the amazing design work out there, it's a shame that the product doesn't take advantage of it.

While researching the Calendar, I discovered that a personalised calendar can be obtained from http://www.personalise.com/products/2012-doctor-who-personalised-calendar. This is a nice idea, and allows for something slightly different to be produced and tailored for the fan who likes to see their name in everything.

The Pocket Diary is a slim affair with a cover of the 11th Doctor and Sonic Screwdriver. Inside it has colour pictures on each page, but disappointingly, there are only 6 pictures repeated over and over: 11th Doctor; Ganger; Amy; Silent; Rory; and Ood. There are also no Doctor Who dates noted (for example the 23rd November being the show's 49th birthday) which is again a shame.

The final item is the desk diary. This features the Doctor, Rory and Amy on the cover, and contains a page per month. The imagery is similar to the main wall Calendar, and features cut out images against a star background. At least here we find Madame Vastra, Headless Monks and Madame Kovarian alongside the more standard fare which makes it more interesting, but strangely Rory the Roman makes an appearance (was he in the 2011 season?). Again, there's nothing featured from the latter part of the season.

Overall the Danilo items are well produced and printed. It's a shame that they don't cover the 2011 season more broadly, but for this I blame the BBC for not supplying them with imagery early enough. It's also a shame that the imagery is somewhat unimaginative, giving the items a very bland feeling compared with the magnificent collage art on display in The Brilliant Book or on the Ravensburger jigsaws to name but two licensed products which really went the extra mile. But then again, maybe this generic look is what Danilo and/or the BBC want from the licensed calendars and diaries ... hopefully they will be able to provide something more visually interesting for 2013, which is, after all, the 50th anniversary of the show.

Puzzling

Jigsaw puzzles need to cover a few bases in order for them to really work well. First of all, the image chosen needs to have areas of similarity - making it challenging to work out which pieces go where - and also areas of distinction so that you have a chance of sorting out the obvious pieces and placing them first. Ravensburger, who currently produce the Doctor Who jigsaws, seem to have these elements down to a tee in the designs they choose for their releases.

The latest two jigsaws in their range feature imagery from Season 6, and as usual their designers have done a sterling job in coming up with some superb pictures.

The 60 piece jigsaw features a great image of the 11th Doctor with his Sonic Screwdriver, flanked on one side by two Silent, and on the other by River, Rory and Amy. The bottom of the image is mostly dark and the top is a similar sky all the way across, making for some challenge in those areas. There are two Silent ... so if you have a Silent piece, then where does it go?  Brilliant stuff.

The other jigsaw is slightly larger at 100 pieces, and the image here really deserves to be released as a poster it's so good. It's a collage (again) of monsters, and there are tons crammed in here ... from left to right we have a Silent, two Weeping Angels, the Siren, Gangers, an Ood, a Sontaran, Madame Vastra, three Daleks, two Cybermen and a CyberController ... trying to sort out which pieces are which from that lot would be quite challenging!  However as every part of the image is different, it shouldn't be too impossible ... in fact I can see that the 60 piece one might even be harder to do than the 100 piece.

There have been calls for Ravensburger to produce a larger-still jigsaw. Maybe a 1000 piece one which fans could really get their teeth into. From the design prowess available in the company, I'm sure that whatever imagery they chose to use, it would be spectacular and impressive.

Filmwatch

We watch a lot of films ... most evenings are spent enjoying something on the DVD or Blu-Ray, and sometimes we'll go back and revisit old favourites, or films we've not seen in an age, as well as picking up some new fare from Blockbusters, or buying them when we know they are things we'll want to add to the collection to watch again.

So recently we rewatched the 2002 version of The Time Machine - the one with Guy Pearce and Samantha Mumba as the female Eloi. To my surprise this was much better than I had remembered it. The acting was pretty good, and the effects nicely done. Mumba was OK, and Jeremy Irons as the lead, intelligent, Morlock was chilling and convincing. I remember that the film was panned when it came out, and it's hard to see why as there's not much wrong with it. I wondered what had happened to former popstrell Samantha Mumba ... a quick check on Wikipedia reveals that she seems to have been doing mostly TV reality shows, guesting on daytime TV and concentrating on 'acting'.

This week we pulled three films from Blockbusters to check out. First of all we watched The Green Lantern.  Oh dear. What a two hour something something borefest. It's hard to believe that a film with such amazing visual effects could be so slow and boring. But it is. The plot really stretches the imagination too ... there's an intergalactic consortium of superheroes called 'the Green Lantern' apparently because their power derives from will, which is green. So they can do anything they can imagine they can do - so pretty much limitless power. Except that the human representative who ends up with the power (Ryan Reynolds) has the imagination of a damp sponge. When a helecopter is crashing, all he can think to do is to turn it into a giant Hotwheels car and track and let it go all over the place like that. When bad guys attack, what does he do? Open a black hole and suck them in? No. Create an impenetrable barrier and enclose them in it? No. He gets pushed and battered and bruised and eventually uses the gravity of the Sun to drag the baddie to its doom ... so not much imagination at all. It was a chore to finish the film to be honest.

Next up was I Am Number Four ... which I was hesitant about, but apparently the book is good ... but unfortunately the film isn't.  It's unfortunately from the Twilight stable of teen romantic stylings and concentrates on how the alien 'Number Four' (Alex Pettyfer) falls in love with a girl at high school (Dianna Agron, who is quite cute) and who then jepordises his future, race and whatever else these mysterious nine kids need to do, by mooching and fawing over her rather than battling the evil bad guys who are out to kill him. In this film the power of good is blue, and the power of bad is red, by the way ... and his hands glow like torches for some reason.

The film sort of struggles along until the last half hour when a kick-ass girl in the form of Number Six (Teresa Palmer) appears. She has the usual teenage girl croaky-voice, but Australian this time rather than the usual American croaky-voice which every female in every film has to have. So annoying. But she is cool, wears leather, rides a motorbike and can sort of dematerialise, move at lightning speed and kill the bad guys with a short sword/dagger thing ... so she's OK. It reminded me a lot of the character Nightcrawler from the X-Men films ... but that's good as he was an excellent character too.  The last half hour is actionpacked fighting with guns and explosions and everything ... and then it slows to a dead stop for the last five minutes as our hero has to say farewell to his love, and the evil bully from school turns good guy ... sheesh.

So onto the last film of the week, and after those two I was feeling a bit down. Thank God for Luc Besson! The final film was the French offering The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec, and this has gone straight on my to-buy list as it was awesome. I am a big fan of The Fifth Element, a brilliant, rollicking science fiction film from Besson, and this one matches it for sheer audacity and imagination. The effects and acting are superb, and the plot ... oh the plot ...

What I really liked about it is that it's unpredictable and above all original. I've never seen anything quite like this before. A scientist, Espérandieu (Jacky Nercessian) puts his mind into that of an ancient pterodactyl and hatches it from an egg at the museum. While the creature causes havok in Paris, an incompetant policeman, Albert Caponi (Gilles Lellouche) is assigned to sort it all out ... thus Espérandieu is discovered and arrested. Meanwhile our hero Adele Blanc-Sec (Louise Bourgoin), is in Egypt, raiding a pyramid to try and obtain the body of the Pharoah's doctor as her sister has been badly injured and brain-damaged, and she wants Espérandieu to revive the mummified doctor to see if he can help her sister ... so the film moves from Egypt back to Paris, and Adele has to try and spring Espérandieu  from jail to help her. We end up with all the mummies in the Louvre coming to life, and going on a sightseeing tour of Paris, and Adele riding the pterodactyl bareback across the city!  Honestly, you couldn't make this up ... and it's brilliant brilliant brilliant.

All the actors bring a superb French/Parisien sensibility to it all, and some are quite comic-strip in their characterisation, all wearing bowler hats, and Caponi constantly trying to have something to eat - and being interrupted every time. Everyone is polite and nice, and Adele is the icing on the cake. Louise Bourgeon is simply superb - she is feisty, kick-ass, go getting and sassy, but at the same time polite, gentile and mannered. A brilliant creation indeed.

Personally I have no problems with subtitled films, though I appreciate that they are not everyone's cup of tea, and here the film is in French with English subtitles. So be aware of that if you decide to give it a go.  And I strongly recommend that you do.

Where's David?

Not one but two places to come and chat to Sam and myself this weekend ...

WATERSTONES, Bolton, Lancashire. 29th Oct 2011Sam Stone will be signing her new book, Hateful Heart, Book 4 The Vampire Gene Series, at this store. David J Howe will also be there with his new collection talespinning.

Time: 12-4pm Date: Saturday 29th October.
Address:Waterstones, 32-36 Deansgate, Bolton, BL1 1BL

WATERSTONES, Wrexham, 30th Oct 2011
Sam Stone will be signing her new book, Hateful Heart, Book 4 The Vampire Gene Series, at this store. David J Howe will also be there with his new collection talespinning.

Time: 10am-1pm Date: Sunday 30th October.
Address: Waterstones, 9/11 Regent Street, Wrexham, LL11 1SG.

100 Scariest Monsters

Another book from the Penguin arm of BBC Children's Books, and this time a small hardbacked tome which purports to be the '100 Scariest Monsters' from Doctor Who ... but it's a strange beast indeed.

It contains double page spreads on 100 monsters, but they are not in alphabetical order (possibly because then that would be too much like the Encyclopedia) nor are they in order of appearance, nor are they even in order of scariness ... perhaps the order is that which author Justin Richards thought of them? There's a mix of Classic and New series creatures here too, so Zygons and Zarbi and Krynoids rub shoulders with Cassandra, the Flood and Vashta Nerada, and each entry has a couple of photographs, some slim text, and a 'Fear Factor' chart showing how scary they were.

This 'Fear Factor' seems to have been pulled from the air, bearing no basis in really how scary the things are. For example the Vashta Nerada get 9/10, while the Daleks are 10/10 ... the Werewolf (from 'Tooth and Claw' gets 8/10 as does Prisoner Zero, the Mummies (from 'Pyramids of Mars') and the Ogri (from 'The Stones of Blood') while the Haemovores get 7/10 along with Aggedor, Axons, Quarks and the Time Beetle! Maybe this is why the book is not in order of scariness - it would all fall apart!

It's a nicely produced little hardback, though the designer needs shooting for the text on pages 6/7 which is dark blue against black and barely readable! However I can see this ending up in the bargain bins after Christmas as it is too similar to Justin's The Ultimate Monster Guide from last year, and it's also like the little Top Trumps books from previous years. It's a book without any point or reason to exist, doing nothing, and produced purely because someone thought it would be a good book for Christmas. A shame.

Where's David?

The signing tour for talespinning rolls on, and tomorrow I'll be at Waterstones in Wigan, along with Sam Stone, signing copies of the book and chatting to anyone who wants to chat ... so please pop in if you're in the area.

WATERSTONES, Wigan. 22nd October, 2011
Sam Stone will be signing her new book, Hateful Heart, Book 4 The Vampire Gene Series, at this very popular store. David J Howe will also be there with his new collection talespinning.

Time: 12pm-4pm Date: 22nd Oct
Address: 61 The Grand Arcade, Wigan, WN1 1BH

Head Case

Amidst all the furore about the Character Options figures and what people want to see next, some gems get released from other companies and these can go unreported. Which is a great shame as sometimes these are far more interesting than a simple set of figures. Take Trends UK's current range of science kits. When I was a kid, I loved this sort of thing, and to have a range which also tied into my love of Doctor Who would have been simply awesome.

The company has three products out at the moment. All are science-based toys and some might say are more traditional than perhaps some of the guns and gadgets which are released - how many Sonic Screwdrivers can one actually play with anyway? - but they are all well produced and well thought through, providing a springboard for further thought and investigation into the subject.

First up is a 'Dalek Enemy Identifier' ... or in common parlance, a 20x microscope with some specimen slides and stickers. The toy is nicely designed and can be enhanced with some 'Dalek bump' stickers. The booklet encourages the user to investigate all around them, everyday items from the house, kitchen, garden and so on look different when magnified, so the idea is to find things, look at them, prepare specimen slides, and then to see if you can identify the close-up photographs in the manual.  I can see this as being fascinating for anyone interested in the world around them and with an inquisitive mind.

Next is something called 'Silurian Crystal Lab', and this is a beautifully designed item: for once not an 11th Doctor, Dalek or Cyberman item. Here, the kit contains some play dough and some chemicals. The manual talks about crystalline structures (and I wondered if in an alternate dimension we had such a kit but with Krotons on the front - a 'grow your own Kroton' kit!) and then goes on to describe the process of dissolving the chemical salt in water, and then suspending a small pebble in the water so that crystals can form on its surface. Fascinating stuff. The kit then has some 'Silurian Sludge', or play dough, to pop the formed crystals on in order to display them in a glow in the dark dome. I always found this sort of basic crystallography a little boring as it's lots of waiting for things to happen ... you need patience to grow decent crystals! But if you have the patience, then the results can be rather good.

Finally, and probably my personal favourite of the three toys, is something called 'Cybernetics'. This contains all the parts needed to build a half-size Cyberman head from the Pandorica Underhenge which will then react in different ways depending on the circuit board chosen. The kit is nicely designed such that each part will only fit in one place, and the manual is clear enough about how to connect up all the wires - basically same colours go together, connected via little springs which is a simple and effective solution, rather than messing about with little screws.

The three circuit boards provided are: Infra Red - where by using a television or DVD remote, you can make the head move across the floor for three seconds or so before it stops; Light Activated - where any light will make the head move - so best used in the dark with a torch, and then when the torch hits the head it moves; and Object Detection - where the head will move until it detects an obstruction, when it will go into reverse.

Of the three circuits, I didn't try the Light Activated one as it was daylight and I couldn't see the point. The Object Detection one didn't seem to work - the head moved and then just stopped. I think with this, the field of operation is too limited perhaps, and of course the detector is only in one place on the head. So the one which I managed to get working was the Infra Red one, and indeed my TV remote would activate the head - but only if used about a foot away ... again the range didn't seem very strong. However each circuit also has a little dial to change the range, fiddling with that increased it to about two feet ... still not quite strong enough ... and of course the television was also switching off and on and the volume going up and down all the time.

The head itself is lovely, and makes a really nice display piece once the fun of making it move and changing it around is done. In a perfect world, the head would have been full size, and the circuits a little more sophisticated ... maybe one to make it talk, another to light it up (it's a shame that the eyes and head don't light up when it's activated), but all this would add cost, and as it is, the product is very nicely priced indeed. I guess that the next step might be for Junior to pay a visit to Maplins or Radio Shack to see what circuits and lights they have which could be used to enhance the toy ... and from there we have the development of future visual effects designers.

In larger Boots stores in the UK, the Cybernetics toy is in their 3 for 2 offer, which makes this one at least very affordable for the family of kids who love Who and who have all the figures. Hearty congratulations to Trends UK for producing the range, and I hope it does well enough that they decide to do more. The 'Dalek Enemy Identifier' sells for £20, the 'Silurian Crystal Lab' for £23 and the 'Cybernetics' kit for £25.

Shops stocking them are:
Toys R Us
Entertainer
Amazon
Argos – on line only
Forbidden Planet
Forbidden Planet International
Boots – Cybernetics
Play.Com

The Brilliant Book

Received a copy of the Brilliant Book 2012 the other week, and to be honest, this is probably the best thing to have come along in recent years. Editor Clayton Hickman knows his Who (well he should do, he edited the official Doctor Who Magazine for many years) and the book collects together facts and figures, pictures and interviews from the most recent series. In a way, it strangely reminds me of my own book Timeframe - which people keep asking if there will be another volume of: at the moment unfortunately not as the BBC don't wish to commission 'outsiders' to do the books for them, preferring to rely on staff and 'known' writers to do the work.

The Brilliant Book sort of falls outside this remit as Clayton does not work for the BBC or Ebury as far as I know ... but anyway ... the content follows the most recent season and there are four or so spreads from each of the tales, peppered with additional interviews with Matt Smith, Karen Gillan, Arthur Darvill and Alex Kingston, plus interview comments from the writers and from Steven Moffat, and even pieces from the effects team on how they created some of the monsters along the way. For me this is wonderful - I've always loved these behind the scenes pieces - and the book blends all this material together along with nice tongue-in-cheek elements like a 'Welcome to Sardicktown' brochure, a flier from the theatre where Henry Gordon Jago presents a 'monstre gathering' culminating in Madame Vastra, a Handroid advertising pack, and 'facebook' updates from Cleopatra and Charles Dickens.  It's superb stuff, written with wit and presented superbly thanks, I guess, to the talents of designer Paul Lang who gets a co-credit with Clayton for the book.

For each story there are also some simply superb pieces of photo art from Lee Johnson. These are some of the very best I have seen in terms of composition and picture selection, and are presented as full page pieces - another perhaps-nod to Timeframe where we presented all the Target cover art throughout the book.  These would make a wonderful series of posters, and Johnson should perhaps be snapped up to work on some of the other licensed merchandise out there to create Jigsaws and covers and designs.

The book is something of a bargain at £12.99 for 164 pages all in full colour, and it complements the other Doctor Who releases admirably - there are some for the younger kids (like Where's The Doctor and the Annual), some for the readers (Dan Abnett's Ice Warrior novel The Silent Stars Go By), and some for the fact-heads (Gary Russell's The Encyclopedia, and of course Andrew Pixley's special magazines from Panini). And of course taking up any slack are companies like my own Telos Publishing with our books on the missing episodes (Wiped) and the more specialist season and story guides.

All you need are bottomless pockets to be able to afford all this stuff!

Where's The Doctor?

It's funny how sometimes things that you think of then become a reality. I was thinking maybe 5 years ago about how it would be really cool to have a Where's Wally type book for Doctor Who, with spreads featuring different monsters and settings ... and then they publish one!

Where's The Doctor? (BBC Children's Books, £8.99) is a large format hardbacked compilation of some of the 'find the Doctor' images from the pages of Doctor Who Monster Invasion Magazine by artist Jamie Smart. I was actually a little disappointed when I realised that they were all from the magazine, but pleased too, as I'm not collecting the magazine - too expensive and something had to give!

We have a selection of scenes: Judoon on the Moon; Dalek ship; Adipose nursery ship, Cyberfactory, Ood-Sphere and so on, and in each image you have to locate four elements: the Doctor, Amy, Rory and the TARDIS; while there are three random items which can be found in some of the images: Fido the dog; Fido's dinner and Fido's ball.

I love the humour inherent in the images. In the Judoon one there are some of the creatures using each other as target practice, there are Judoon in police helmets in a car, one riding a rocket, and lots and lots just standing around. The image of the Underhenge is especially wonderful, with all the different monsters featured. We have Judoon trampolining, Roman soldiers aplenty, Sontarans marching, and Silurians and Cybermen enjoying a slide.

The Silence image is also great, with thousands of the creepy creatures packed into an old house on the landings and stairs. Finding the Doctor here is very challenging, but I managed it :)

Overall the book is a great Christmas gift, diverting and entertaining for kids of all ages, and if you shop around, then you can get it for less than the cover price (Waterstones have it for 25% off for example).

The Fall

I am loving this new song and video by Gary Numan right now. The video is something of a mini-masterpiece - I love them when they have a story and visuals which make you think 'what is happening here' ...

The Power of If

There's an old Doctor Who story where Tegan, the Doctor's companion, talks about the power of 'if' ... indeed she is looking for the TARDIS' Index File, but the deeper connotation of what she is saying is for me one of the things at the very heart of good storytelling.

Sam and I were at Preston Waterstones yesterday, and one of the lovely things about doing store events is that you get to meet all manner of people ... some of them want to chat about the books and might even buy a copy, while others are not interested in horror (they turn away with a shudder) but if you smile and ask them what they do like to read, then you can get a better insight into what people like and why ... and that can be important.

At the store yesterday, a lady came up to us with a young boy of maybe 8 years old ... she wanted to know if we had any tips on writing for her son, as he had been asked by school to write a 'blurb' on something he liked, and also to write some sort of story (I think). It's hard to get ideas and concepts over to an 8 year old, and so I decided to focus on the power of 'what if'.  The way it goes is that anything in life - absolutely anything - can be transformed into the fantastique through the power of 'what if'.  So. We're standing in the bookshop talking ... what if a hole opened up in the floor and swallowed your mum?  What would you think, what would you do next? Where does the hole go? And why is it there?  Instantly you have a story. Another example was 'What if you woke up and your bed, instead of being in your bedroom, was on a cloud ...'  And so on.

The lad got it immediately and seemed quite thoughtful that this making up of stories - something he said he did anyway (probably in a form like 'my homework was eaten by dinosaurs in the back garden' or 'I didn't eat that cake, it was a hungry fridge-mouse') - was a basis for writing fiction, and he wandered off to pillage in the childrens' section of the store.

I love that 'what if' approach ... it's even something that seasoned writer and friend Terrance Dicks has mentioned on more than one occasion ... if you're writing something, anything, and you get stuck, then just have two men enter the room with a gun ... that then gets the story moving again. It's the same basic premise ...

So next time you're out and about, try employing the 'what if' ... what if that man at the bus stop is waiting for a spacecraft to arrive rather than a bus ... what if the greengrocers suddenly vanished ... what if that group of children in the park weren't actually from this dimension at all ...

The Reviews are In

Just wanted to take a moment to pass on a few reviews of my new collection, talespinning. As some will know, this collects just about every piece of fiction I have written over the last 30 years - I'm not prolific at fiction - and I really wasn't sure if people would like it. 

First off, the first big review I got, from http://www.geekmom.com/2011/09/talespinning-by-david-j-howe-who-horror-and-more/

'These stories made me want to read more horror and I don’t think I can conjure up a greater compliment.'

'As a whole, this is a great collection with something for most horror and fantasy fans. Doctor Who fans, especially those from the classic pre-2005 era, will doubtless find the Who-verse tales of great interest but there is more to this book than just the Doctor’s world, and the other short stories are all worthy of your time and attention. As a horror story novice I found this a great introduction to a variety of styles, allowing me to get a bit more understanding of the genres I am drawn to and as such talespinning will sit well on the shelves of horror, fantasy and science fiction fans alike.'

Then the book was perused by OneMetal.com at http://www.onemetal.com/2011/10/06/talespinning-by-david-j-howe/

'The two excerpts from David’s novels were fantastically written, but frustrating to read because I wanted more! The excerpts conclude at a point where plot-threads naturally remain unresolved. The fact that these can stand alone should be considered as testament to the quality of David’s writing.'

'David J Howe's talespinning is a great collection of short stories, scripts, and excerpts, and will be particularly enjoyed by anyone interested in Dr. Who.'

And finally, an 8/10 piece from SciFiOnline at http://www.sci-fi-online.com/00_revs/r2011/book/11-09-30_talespinning.html

'The pieces which I thought worked the best was Moonlighting and Blackfriars, both of which are deliciously macabre.'

'As a collection of shorter fiction this collection is eminently readable with a nice range of stories in differing forms.'

Needless to say I'm pretty delighted with the initial reaction, and Sam is now nagging me to finish the novels ...

Stake Land

We found ourselves without new films to watch last night, and so one quick trip to Blockbusters later, and we were furnished with a new vampire film which I'd not heard of.

Stake Land seems to build on the premise of the adorable Zombieland - one of my favourite films of recent years - except that instead of zombies having taken over the world, it's vampires. I always smile at the taglines they put on these films: 'Forget what you know about horror, this one's a game changer' said something/someone called The Skinny; and 'See this film at any cost' urges Gorepress ... hmmm ...

It's not a bad film at all. The production values seem very high, and while it's obviously low budget, they do a good job of not making that element show. Thus the vampires have fairly decent make-up and there's a whole heap of corpses which get strewn about in every location the heroes end up in.  It's a sort of road movie of sorts, but one where the lead characters don't really show any development. It's also very bleak.

The world has gone to pot since the vampires came to town, and everywhere is destroyed. Small pockets of humanity exist: from the nice and friendly, 'come to our town and we'll give you all you need' to the distinctly unfriendly: 'vampires have been sent by God to serve us ... so we'll feed you to them ...'

Our heroes are Mister - a sort of loner vampire killer - and a boy called Martin, and along the way they travel with a pregnant girl (Belle), a Nun (Sister) and another man (Willie), coming up against the loopy Jebedia who runs a vampire-worshipping group.  The problem with the film is that it just drifts from one location to another, the characters come and go, and as I say, there doesn't seem to be any development.  The most random thing in the film is when unknown people in helecopters drop live vampires onto a town which is holding a party celebration ... no explanation, but the party ends thereafter.

The film also doesn't really end. Mister heads off into the proverbial sunset, leaving Martin and new girl Peggy to continue to drive to Canada where, supposedly, safety from the vampire hoard awaits them. The film ends as they reach the Canadian border.

It was an enjoyable watch, but it lacks the humour and self-awareness of Zombieland. Everything is bleak and uncompromising, and at times it's quite challenging as babies get killed, and the vampires destroy everything in sight. The vamps though are far more like zombies than vampires - they don't seem to think and just attack and eat ... and this also generates a credibility problem for the final battle with Jebedia.

Better than some lower budget offerings I've seen, I'd maybe give Stake Land a 6/10.

Lost Girl vs Terra-Nova

I like to dip into and try episodes of any new FSFH shows which come along on telly. Recent misses for me have been Tru Blood - saw a couple of episodes, had no idea whatsoever what was going on and so passed on it; Warehouse 13 - which I actually enjoyed, but have managed not to see very much of as it didn't grip me; Doctor Who - which Facebook Friends will know I've not thought much of this year (for the first time in 48 years!); and the new Torchwood: Miracle Day - which was about 6 or 7 episodes too long, and ultimately seemed to be about nothing whatsoever.

There's a couple of new shows started recently. First is Lost Girl. We missed the first episode, but came in on part 2, and this had me hooked immediately. The premise of the show is that there's Fey creatures all around. As in Angel they have their own bar, and everyone tries to get along with everyone else. Lead protagonist is Bo, who is a succubus - if she doesn't get a regular dose of love-energy then she will die. Problem is that taking the energy kills a human. So she is hooked up with a werewolf chap called Dyson who doesn't die when she feeds. She has a human sidekick in the intensely quirky and likable Kenzie, and there's a sort of backstory where she's trying to find out who her parents were ...

So we have tales of leprechauns, human corpse-eating creatures, sirens and just about every other sort of fantastical creature you can imagine. But it all works. Anna Silk as Bo is very good in the lead, and Ksenia Solo as Kenzie is simply brilliant - I'm not sure if it's the actress or the scripting, but whatever it is, it really works.

We have Lost Girl on Sky Repeat Record now so as not to miss an episode ...

I wish we could say the same for the new Spielberg TV series Terra-Nova ... We caught the first episode and thought, hmmm ... we've seen all this before. A family in a dystopian future takes some sort of government initiative to travel to a new world where they can establish humanity all over again (or something). But the new world is 50 million something years in the past, and there are dinosaurs there, and a compound like out of Jurrassic Park, and it's just so so slow and boring.
We watched the second episode to see if it improved, but no. All about the kids getting caught outside the compound and trapped by raptor-like dinosaurs while some breakaway group of dissidents called 'Six' are sparring with the leaders of the compound group.

It's like every sort of after-the-disaster film and TV series ever made ... human factions warring between themselves, some Primeval-like dinosaurs thrown in to provide a backdrop, and just angst and angst and angst from all the characters all the time. Tedius.

So that has now been deleted from the Sky box ... we won't be watching any more.

Vindicated

http://www.britishfantasysociety.co.uk/news/official-bfs-statement-concerning-awards/

Time To Reflect

Today we had a lovely day out in Warrington, at the Waterstones there where Sam and I were signing copies of our new books.

One of the customers, a lovely lady called Emma, was in a bind as she needed a two-hander script for her College work, and had no idea how to source it. So I offered to write her something.

Here's what I put together ... presented here for your enjoyment. I hope it helps her out :)



TIME TO REFLECT
(c) 2011 David J Howe


KATIE is in her room, reading a book, when there is a knock at the door. KATIE puts her book down and gets up to answer the door. She moves with a depressed gait. Life is pressing down on her.

She returns to the room with SUSAN, who is talking really fast.

SUSAN
… sorry to burst in like that, it’s something of a new thing for me and I’ve not had the time to …

KATIE
Woah. Slow down will you, what are you on about.

SUSAN
Sorry. Yes. Well. You see. It was …

KATIE
Slow. Down.

SUSAN relaxes a little and KATIE gestures to the sofa/chair to sit down. SUSAN smiles and sits. SUSAN gives a couple of deep breaths and then does a long exhale as her hands, outstretched and palms down move towards the floor as she breathes out.

SUSAN
Thanks. That’s better.

KATIE
Yes it is. Now. First things first.

KATIE fixes SUSAN with her eyes.

KATIE (cont)
Who are you?

SUSAN
Oh! Of course. Yes. You’ve not met me yet. That’s funny.

KATIE
What’s funny?

SUSAN
That you’ve not met me yet.

KATIE (giving a withering look)
Well of course I’ve not met you. I have no idea who you are!

SUSAN (giggling)
Oh, you will …

KATIE (Shaking head)
What?

SUSAN
Nothing. Nothing. Sorry. Who am I? Yes. I’m Susan. And you’re Katie.

KATIE
How do you know who I am, I’ve never met you before.

SUSAN
Oh you have, but you don’t know about it yet.

KATIE (confused)
I have … but I don’t know … look … what are you talking about?

SUSAN
I’m sorry.

KATIE
And stop apologising.

SUSAN
Sorry … (smiles) Sorry.

KATIE
So where do I know you from?

SUSAN
Oh, you know me very well indeed.

KATIE (looks at SUSAN critically)
Do I?

SUSAN
Oh, yes.

KATIE (studies SUSAN)
So … from Uni … no. I don’t remember anyone like you from there. Maybe … maybe from the Bar? Are you one of the girls from the bar?

SUSAN shakes her head.

KATIE (thoughtful)
Not the bar then … hmmm … are you … are you a friend of … of Peter’s? Yes! You’re a friend of Peter’s.



SUSAN
Peter! PETER! That loser. Do me a favour.

KATIE
Not Peter then … now you’re just trying to confuse me.

KATIE stands and starts pacing while SUSAN watches her, an amused expression on her face.

KATIE
So not Uni, not the bar, not Peter …

KATIE stops and point at SUSAN in triumph.

KATIE
Got it! You’re someone from the town … one of those girls I met the other month while working at Boots.

SUSAN
I wish it was that simple …

KATIE
OK.

KATIE slumps back in the chair.

KATIE (cont)
I give up. How do you know me?

SUSAN
Well …

KATIE nods and looks attentive

SUSAN (Cont)
This isn’t going to be easy …

KATIE frowns.

SUSAN (cont)
You see. Katie

SUSAN swallows and there’s a long pause

SUSAN (cont)
I’m your mother.

There is silence.

KATIE silently mouths ‘You’re my mother’ and shakes her head.

SUSAN
I knew you wouldn’t believe me.

KATIE
But … but my Mother is dead … she died four years ago.

SUSAN nods

KATIE (cont)
And she was sixty five years old.

SUSAN smiles

KATIE
And you … you are what … the same age as me? Seventeen?

SUSAN
Eighteen.

KATIE
I don’t get this at all.

SUSAN
Nor do I to tell the truth.

KATIE
Why do you say you’re my mother then? Her name was … was …

Realisation dawns over KATIE’S face.

KATIE (cont)
Her name was Susan …

SUSAN
Indeed … and I am she. No. I mean, she is me.

KATIE rubs her hand over her face.

KATIE
But if you are her.

SUSAN
Yes.

KATIE
And you are here.

SUSAN
Yes.

KATIE
And you are eighteen.

SUSAN nods encouragingly.

KATIE
Then … then … HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU BE MY MOTHER?

SUSAN smiles

SUSAN
Oh, that’s easy.

KATIE
Is it?

SUSAN
Yup. I came back in time.

KATIE
… what?

SUSAN
Yes. Back. Or probably forward. Yes. Forward.

KATIE
Forward?

SUSAN
From the past. Yes.

KATIE
Erm …

SUSAN
Oh, I know what you’re thinking. The girl is nuts. She’s bonkers. Crazy in the coconuts … but every word is true.

KATIE moves away from Susan, looking at her warily.

SUSAN
Yes. I have come forward in time, from the past, with a very important message for you.

KATIE shakes her head as if to clear it.

KATIE
A message.

SUSAN
Yup. Not everyone can do the travelling thing.

KATIE
Well, to be honest I’m surprised anyone can …

SUSAN
Tell me about it.

KATIE (muttering)
I wish you would.

SUSAN
Well, it’s like, you know Doctor Who?

KATIE
Erm … Doctor Who? What like off telly?

SUSAN
That’s the one.

KATIE
Yeah … I’ve seen a few episodes. The one with some statues that came alive, and something else with that bloke off Gavin and Stacey …

SUSAN (overjoyed)
You got it! Yes!

KATIE frowns again and looks at SUSAN quizzically

KATIE
You’re … telling me you came here in a police box?

SUSAN (laughs)
Oh no, don’t be daft. That would be stupid.

KATIE
Stupid. Right.

SUSAN
No, I meant it’s like that timey wimey stuff they go on about there … sometimes you find yourself moving about in time … just kinda happens yeah?

KATIE
No. Not really. I can’t say I’ve ever found that myself.

SUSAN
No? Ah, well, maybe that comes later. Anyway … the important thing I need to tell you is …

KATIE
Go on … am I going to be kidnapped by Daleks or something?

SUSAN (amazed)
How did you guess!

KATIE
What?

SUSAN (grins)
Kidding.

KATIE
Yeah, thanks for that. Look. What do you want?

SUSAN
Lottery.

KATIE
What?

SUSAN
Lottery? I wondered if you did the lottery?

KATIE
No. Not at all.

SUSAN
Good. No point. You’d never win.

KATIE
Oh, thanks for that. So you came all the way from the past to tell me not to do the lottery? Brilliant.

SUSAN
Sorry. Got distracted there.

SUSAN checks her watch.

SUSAN (cont)
Whoops. Nearly out of time. Look. Katie.

KATIE
You are a very strange person.

SUSAN
I know. But listen. I came from the past to tell you … tell you …

KATIE
Yes?

SUSAN
Well … I love you.

KATIE
What?

SUSAN
That’s all. I love you. And I’ve always been proud of you.

KATIE looks at SUSAN and starts to sniffle.

SUSAN
I’m sorry, dear. What with everything going on, I never actually got to tell you. And now … well … now I can see how that has held you back. Stopped you trying because you thought there was no point. Well there is a point, and you have to keep trying.

KATIE
What?

SUSAN keeps an eye on her watch.

SUSAN
Sorry … I only have so long, and only one chance. So use it Katie. Get out there and kick ass like there is no tomorrow.

KATIE nods.

SUSAN
Atta girl.

KATIE
But … if you’re my mum, then …

SUSAN
Sorry. No more time … just know that I love you and I’m proud of you … so get on with your life …

KATIE nods tearfully.

SUSAN
Right … that timey wimey stuff is happening again … got to get back to the point of collection …

SUSAN jumps up and hugs KATIE tight.

SUSAN
Be happy love.

Then SUSAN rushes for the door and off set.

KATIE is left standing there with one hand over her mouth, wondering what just happened.

KATIE shakes her head and frowns a little.

Then the frown turns into a smile.

KATIE
She did love me. And I never realised.

KATIE looks up into the air.

KATIE
Thanks mum.

KATIE moves off stage with a spring in her step which was not there before.


ENDS

Busy Bee

Time has a habit of slipping away from you ... and in the worlds of publishing even moreso. Since the last time I penned words for this blog a lot has happened. My IT Job has reached another breakpoint and I left my contract at the end of July, so after a quick holiday in the sun, for the moment I'm catching up on all sorts of other things. The new series of Doctor Who has started up again, and I'm very aware that I just couldn't make the time to talk about all the episodes in the first half of the season ... and so far I've not had time to comment on the one just past - the one about killing Hitler, though in fact it was about nothing of the sort. However we have plans for a new edition of The Television Companion for the 50th anniversary in 2013, and so I suspect that my comments on the Matt Smith episodes will find their way into that book ... But enough of what has not been happening ... time for some news of what has! Taking advantage in the break in IT work, and I am absolutely delighted that Telos has picked up a collection of my horror fiction. Called talespinning, the book should be published very soon now, and pre-ordering is available on the Telos site. The cover is by the amazing Bryan Talbot, and the book contains all my horror fiction, completed over the last thirty years or so, plus the scripts for the film Daemos Rising and an unfilmed sequel called Face of the Fendahl, extracts from two incomplete longer works ... it's a great selection of the macabre and the humourous and I hope people will enjoy it! Copies can be ordered direct from Telos: http://www.telos.me.uk/category.php?id=3#120; and every copy pre-ordered will be dedicated and signed by myself. Another book out at the end of September of which I am very proud is a fantasy/horror anthology called Full Fathom Forty. This is being published by the British Fantasy Society, and is a stonking 500 page tome of 40 of the very best stories by members and friends of the BFS. I have edited it for the BFS' own fortieth anniversary this year, and it's one of the strongest anthologies of fantastic fiction I have ever been pleased to read.

For forty years the British Fantasy Society has been promoting and appreciating fantastic fiction in all its guises. Now, to celebrate the many worlds of wonder and terror, the BFS presents an anthology of works by members and friends of the Society past and present. Here you will find angels and vampires, werewolves and killers, magicians and gentlemen, alien worlds and urban nightmares. Let the British Fantasy Society be your guide through a selection of the best fiction to be found on this world ... or beyond! Featuring the fantastic fiction and poetry of: Nina Allan, Suzanne Barbieri, Carl Barker, Mike Barrett, Ramsey Campbell, Jonathan Carroll, Adrian Chamberlin, Simon Clark, Raven Dane, Jan Edwards, Murray Ewing, Paul Finch, Christopher Fowler, Matthew Fryer, Stephen Gallagher, Cate Gardner, R B Harkess, Ian Hunter, Wilf Kelleher Jones, Jasper Kent, Joel Lane, Stephen Laws, Mark Lewis, Alison J Littlewood, Steve Lockley, Graham Masterton, Peter Mark May, Geoff Nelder, Kim Newman, Stan Nicholls, Martin Owton, Cas Peace, John Llewellyn Probert, Tina Rath, Steven Savile, Robert Shearman, Jim Steel, Sam Stone, Deborah Walker and Conrad Williams.

If you are not a member of the BFS, then copies are available for sale. Unfortunately the BFS Website is unavailable at the moment which makes providing a link there somewhat challenging, but copies can be ordered using this PayPal link:

Please select destination

UK £19.49 Europe £21.99 Rest of World £26.99

I'm also out and about quite a bit coming up. Here's a list of the events which I am appearing and guesting at. Hopefully some of you might be able to pop along and say hello!

THE ASYLUM, Lincoln, 9th-11th September 2011 The Asylum Steampunk weekend is an opportunity to do all things Steampunk. Sam Stone, David J Howe, Frazer Hines, Raven Dane, Robert Rankin and Toby Frost are among the guests for this fun weekend event. I will be taking part in panels, signings and readings. Date: 9th-11th Sept Address: Lincoln Castle, The Lawns, The Victoria, Lincoln. For more information visit: http://steampunk.synthasite.com WATERSTONES, Llandudno 17th September 2011 I will be launching talespinning, at this very popular North Wales Store. Time: 12pm-4pm Address: 37 Victoria Centre, Mostyn Centre, Llandudno, Conwy, LL30 2NG WATERSTONES, Warrington, 24th September 2011 Science Fiction and Fantasy Day. Join Sam Stone, David J Howe and Frazer Hines (and many more) for readings, discussions and talks based around Sci-Fi/Fantasy in the Media and in print. More info on this later. I'll also have copies of talespinning for sale. Time: 12-4pm Address: Waterstone's Warrington, 22 The Mall, Golden Square Shopping Centre, Warrington, WA1 1QP. THE CRYPT, Manchester Vampire Society Meet, Manchester, 25th September 2011 Sam Stone and David J Howe will be reading from their latest works. With Q & A session. Books will be on sale. Address: The Seven Oaks, 5 Nicholas Street, Manchester, M1 4HL Time: 4-8pm FANTASYCON, Brighton, 30th Sept - 2nd Oct 2011 I'll be launching talespinning on Saturday 31st September at FantasyCon in Brighton. Telos also has a strong showing in the British Fantasy Awards which are to be announced at the convention on the Sunday. Address: The Royal Albion Hotel, 35 Old Steine, Brighton, BN1 1NT. Further Information: http://www.fantasycon2011.org/hotel.htm WATERSTONES, Trafford Centre, 8th October 2011 I'll be signing copies of talespinning at this popular Manchester store. Time: 12-4pm Address: Waterstones Trafford Centre, 42 Regent Crescent, Barton Dock Road, Manchester, M17 8AP WATERSTONES, Preston, 15 October 2011 I'll be signing copies of talespinning. Time: 12-4pm Address: Waterstone's Preston, 3-5 Fishergate Preston PR1 3LJ WATERSTONES, Bolton, Lancashire, 29th Oct 2011 I'll be signing copies of talespinning. Time: 12-4pm Address:Waterstones, 32-36 Deansgate, Bolton, BL1 1BL WATERSTONES, Wrexham, 30th Oct 2011 I'll be signing copies of talespinning. Time: 12-4pm Address: Waterstones, 9/11 Regent Street, Wrexham, LL11 1SG. WATERSTONES, Liverpool One, Liverpool, 26th Nov 2011 I'll be signing copies of talespinning. Time: 12-4pm Address:Waterstones, 12 College Lane, Liverpool, L1 3DL. GALLIFREY 2012, LAX Marriott, Los Angeles, USA, 17th-19th Feb 2012 Sam Stone, David J Howe and Frazer Hines will be appearing as guests at Gallifrey. Time: ALL Weekend. Panels, Interviews, Creative Writing Workshop. Address: LAX MARRIOT. Los Angeles, California. GALAXYFEST 2012, Colorado Springs, USA, 24th-26th Feb 2012 I'm overjoyed to be International Writing Guest of Honour at this convention. Other guests are Sam Stone and Kevin J Anderson, with Robert Picardo, Angus Oblong, Christie Golden, Frazer Hines, Robert Elrod, Clare Cramer, Claudia Christian, Dean Haglund, Denise Crosby and Tori Higginson. Time: ALL Weekend. Panels, Interviews, Creative Writing Workshop. Address: Antlers Hilton, 4 South Cascade, Colorado Springs, CO 80903-1695, USA.

That's all for the moment. Hopefully it won't be too long before I can share some more news and views with you all.

Oi Spaceman!

Whenever I come to write my thoughts on Nu Who, I'm always aware that I might be in the minority. Brief statii posted on Facebook bring a cavalcade of comments as to how I am wrong, how I didn't 'get' it and so on, but generally when I post my thoughts here, I get nice comments and people saying that they're glad I said what I did as they thought the same and felt somewhat bludgeoned by the rest of fandom for not thinking as per the collective ... So I'll do as usual here, and pass on my thoughts and feelings about the opener for Season 6 (or Season 32, or Season 11.2 depending on how you're counting). This year I managed to stay pretty much completely spoiler free - so I had (and have) little clue as to what to expect. So 'The Impossible Astronaut' kicked off with no expectations at all. First of all, the title. It's rubbish. From what we saw, 'Silence Falls' would have been better, or maybe 'Space 1969' ... 'The Impossible Astronaut' sounds more like a novel or comic story ... but then that's what we were presented with, a story which seemed to be more at home in any media other than television. We kick off with the Doctor at various points in the past: being painted naked; in some wartime tunnels; and dancing on film with Laurel and Hardy. All very nice, but what was the point? To attract Amy and Rory's attention? Why not just call on them ... it's not very Doctory. And another thing, for all this episode's bleating on about not being able to change the past, that's all the Doctor seems to do - inserting himself in people's past and changing how the future will pan out. Anyway, he sends Amy and Rory and River Song (who seems to be in a jail or something but is allowed to leave by her captors?) invitations to America to meet with him by a lake ... and the first clue is that he says he is 1103 years old, but last time Amy saw him he was 908 ... so some 200 years have passed for the Doctor. But then a car arrives bringing an old man bearing a can of petrol .. and the Doctor talks with an Apollo astronaut down by the lake who then seems to kill him ... and then while he is regenerating kills him completely. But we're used to all this by now ... regenerations that are not, events which are not what they seem ... even in the Pandorica episode the Doctor was apparently killed ... but wasn't. I wonder if the production team know the story of the Boy who Cried Wolf (or should that be Bad Wolf?). So all this outpouring of emotion from Amy left me cold ... seen this before. Got the t-shirt. And as usual the music was awful. Murray Gold seems to have a sledgehammer approach at times, and the choral stuff here really annoyed me. And the plot now starts to twist and turn. The Doctor's body is burned (so he does seem to be really really dead), and the old man - Canton Everett Delaware III - has another of the invitations, numbered 1 to 4 ... so who had number 1? Surprise! It is the Doctor ... this time aged 909 - so just a year after last meeting Amy and Rory ... but he doesn't seem to know who River Song is yet ... Spoilers! So they head to 1969 to where the TARDIS seems to want to go - to the 8th April to be precise, and the Oval Office, where President Nixon is troubled by a strange child who keeps phoning him for help. He has called in ex-FBI man Canton Delaware (which number we're not sure of) to assist him and before long the Doctor, Amy, Rory and River are all embroiled in the mystery. Amy meanwhile is seeing alien creatures which she then forgets about, and, feeling sick, heads for the toilets where she encounters it again. She works out that once you can't see it any more you forget about it and so takes a photo on her phone. The creature tells her that she must tell the Doctor what he must know ... but what that is, is somewhat obtuse ... that he died? The creature is quite spooky but is overused - scary is half seen in the shadows and background, not in plain view in a toilet. And is it only me who thinks it looks a bit like the Headmaster from the Pink Floyd video for 'Another Brick in the Wall'? It kills a woman in the toilet for no apparent reason other than to establish that it is a threat, and then Amy rushes out - immediately forgetting it. So how did the creature expect her to tell the Doctor anything? Come to that, why doesn't it tell him itself? All this creeping around ... what's the point? No-one could ever reveal its presence as everyone forgets it the moment they can't see it ... The Doctor figures out that the calls from the child are coming from a warehouse about 5 miles from Cape Kennedy ... because the kid mentioned three names when asked where they were and who they were ... this borders on the mcguffin for me. A convenient hook to bring the Doctor to a place where there are all manner of alien gadgets and tech just lying around. River investigates some underground tunnels, and, apart from lots of the forgettable monsters, she finds a locked room with some sort of control console in it. This looked to me like the alien craft from last year's 'The Lodger' to me, but it's function is unknown as the alien creatures move in on Rory and River. Meanwhile upstairs, Amy admits to the Doctor that she is pregnant. What a time to pick ... and immediately one is asking, so is the Astronaut her child? Is River Song her child? Is the Doctor her child? But then River is complaining of feeling sick as well, so is she pregnant too? Is her child the Doctor? Or even Amy? It's all timey wimey wibbly wobbly stuff. So the Astronaut appears again and the suit is revealed to have a child in it (and it would be impossible for a kid to fill and operate such a suit, but never mind) and Amy shoots it with Canton's gun ... And we crash into the closing credits. There's some lovely dialogue in the episode. I liked all of River Song's musings on her life with the Doctor, running in different directions (in case you had forgotten this) but it just served to confuse things more really. You have to keep remembering that River cannot remember any of her past (as far as we are concerned) adventures, and the things she goes on about haven't happened yet as far as we are concerned. It's all a little cerebral for a kid's teatime show really. And that's another of the problems I have. Personally I *like* Doctor Who to be thought provoking and exciting and horrifying. 'The children's own show which adults adore'. And yet ... and yet we have a magazine aimed at 5 year olds (Doctor Who Adventures), lego sets, activity books and novels aimed at the 8-10 age group (or younger) ... there's no merchandise except perhaps Doctor Who Magazine which is aimed at the older age group. So the show is actively courting and cultivating fans who are young kids, and then presenting material on the show itself which they could never follow or understand! Heck the merchandise is aimed at people who were not even born when Christopher Eccleston saved Rose from the Autons! It's food for thought. And so while I'm looking forward to see how this story pans out - and kudos to Steven Moffat, I have no idea at all what might be going on - I am strangely ambivalent about it all. I like my Doctor Who to have a plot, to excite and engage on a level more than just wondering how the characters would react and so on. There are too many shows out there which are unwatchable for a single episode because they are all about the backstory and not about the viewers and presenting an entertaining hour of plot and excitement. Many shows start life as a series of great stand alone stories but then, as they beome popular, alienate all but those who have watched every episode, by making the mistake of thinking that the characters and backstory is more interesting than the plots - The X-Files, Buffy, Supernatural all made this mistake, and recently I've tried to watch episodes of Warehouse 13 and Witchblade and come out the other end having no idea whatsoever about what the show was about - it was all about backstory I didn't know and characters I didn't care about. I really, really don't want Doctor Who to go down that route.

Goodbye Sarah Jane

I can't remember the first time I met Elisabeth Sladen. I mean, over the years I've met many, many people from the worlds of Doctor Who, both the actors and behind the scenes technicians, and it's hard to pin down when you first meet someone. The first Doctor Who convention was in 1977, and at that time the companion was the lovely Louise Jameson, and she and Tom Baker came to that inaugural gathering in a Battersea church hall and enthralled those who were there. But Lis ... I'm wracking my brain but I can't remember her attending a UK con at all in the seventies or eighties - at least I have no photographs of her attending any of them. So I couldn't have met her then. When Keith Barnfather and Reeltime Pictures made the independent drama Downtime, although I was involved (I played one of the Yeti!) the days I was on set were not the ones that Lis was on set so I didn't meet her then ... The reason that this is so puzzling to me is that despite the fact I can't remember when I met her, she knew who I was. I know we met at one of the Gallifrey conventions in LA a few years back, when it was at Van Nuys and rained all the time. She was lovely and charming, perhaps a little put out by all the people there, and the rain ... always the rain ... but surely that can't have been the first time I met her? I know she was gracious enough to speak to me for the book I wrote for Virgin on the Companions - I probably still have the tape of that somewhere in a cupboard - but that was a phone interview as I recall ... And yet ... I was at one of those Memorabilia fairs in Birmingham a few years ago. A friend wanted to get some signatures and so we decided to drive up there and see what it was all about. It was packed and busy with people and costumes ... mental. While wandering around I saw that Lis was signing in one of the booths - I think she was being sponsored to be there by a retailer - and in one lull in her never-ending queue, I approached and said Hi. She looked up at me and the most beautiful smile cracked her face. 'David!' she said. 'How lovely to see you again!' and we chatted about how she was doing and so on for a minute or two before the people behind me started to mutter. So I bade my farewells and wandered away. I think my memory must be breaking away like icebergs these days. Great chunks of my life drifting away ... I must have met her before ... But then I think Elisabeth Sladen was one of those rare people ... someone who makes you *feel* that you know her through her warmth and friendliness. She obviously knew me and remembered me from whatever passing nod we had enjoyed in the past, and yet she greeted me as an old friend, a familiar face. And that meant so much! As I mentioned, I've met so many people. Some have become close friends, some I know well enough to call up and chat, some I see at the occasional convention and we have a nice natter about stuff, catching up. But many have met so many people over the years, and it all starts to blur. When I was a kid, growing up with Doctor Who, my main eras were the Troughton and Pertwee years. I still love Troughton's era with a passion and have listened to the soundtracks and watched the videos so often ... but then, with 1971 I turned 10, and it was the Pertwee era that I remember watching. I remember missing episodes too due to holidays. This was when I started to collect the books ... the magazines ... the ephemera ... this was my formation as a fan and collector. I recall getting the Radio Times 10th Anniversary Special and seeing for the first time, the preview of the next season - the show's 11th. With a new companion who looked modern and funky. New monsters - a spacesuited Sontaran (whatever that was), dinosaurs and spiders (I hate spiders and so this show held a special fascination for me). Within moments of appearing on screen Lis made the part of Sarah Jane Smith her own. She was real and natural, a proper woman - not all girly like Jo could be - but someone capable who could manage quite fine on her own thank you very much. She was great! The greatness continued into Tom Baker's era, with shows like 'The Ark in Space', 'The Sontaran Experiment' and 'Pyramids of Mars' cementing her brilliance in my mind. I never fancied her ... I think I was a little too young ... but she was like an older sister, someone you could depend on, and she loved the Doctor with a passion that was plain to see. When she left at the end of 'The Hand of Fear' it was a sad time ... the Doctor called to Gallifrey and he couldn't/wouldn't take her with him - how times have changed - and so Sarah was consigned to a roadway anywhere but where she should have been ... And an era passed. Then, thanks to the tenacity of Russell T Davies, she was back ... an episode with David Tennant and it was as though she had never been away ... and then her own series, The Sarah Jane Adventures, with more monsters to fight and wrongs to right. Here she had her own companions, a likable bunch of kids who looked up to her in the same way as I had looked up to Sarah when she was kicking the ass of anti-matter monsters and Kraals. But the great wheel turns, and times change. The past we love stays as a memory, and the people we know and love, whether we have met them in person or not, move on and up and away. I was privileged to have met Lis. She was happy and friendly and had time for everyone, and she remembered my name. You can't ask more from your childhood heroes.

The Shark Whisperer

Christmas day is never the best time to enjoy a Doctor Who story. You're full of turkey and trimmings, replete with wine and port. Concentrating on some timey-wimey action is out of the question really, and in previous years, the Doctor Who story presented on Christmas Day has tended to be packed with action and adventure and never-mind-the-logic to keep the kids happy and looking forward to when they might be able to buy some toys related to what they have just seen (usually months and months later when they have forgotten all about what was on anyway, having been distracted by more presents from the late-arriving Aunt Ada or something). Anyway ... in the lead up to more 11th Doctor adventures, I realised it was high time I cracked open the Sky Planner and re-watched the Christmas Day adventure from just 4 months ago - but it seems like forever! So I settled down with a glass of wine in one hand and a notepad in the other ... as 'A Christmas Carol' unfolded before me again. The first thing to say about Nu Who is that textually and narratively it's very rich. When I was making notes on a Russell T Davies story, I might fill 3 or 4 pages of my notepad. For 'A Christmas Carol' I filled 8 pages. Every line brings some new information, something to be noted, cross referenced, stamped and filed. Steven Moffat loves to fill his scripts with character and interest and this offering did not disappoint on that level at all. From the outset we're plunged into danger as a very Star Trek spacecraft is plunging to its doom on an unknown planet. There is the squeaky voiced captain from Voyager there, complete with tight fitting white uniform; the multi-racial crew to appease the PC brigade; the navigator who seems to be blind ... all the stereotypes are here. But then there's Amy dressed as a policewoman and Rory dressed as a Roman Soldier fresh from the honeymoon suite ... hmmm ... something for the dads to ponder on I suspect, while the kids realise that more action figures are on the horizon. The spaceship us crashing because there's a machine on the planet which is affecting the sky ... and the Doctor needs to turn it off, but he can't because the controls are isomorphic (cue a nice little bit of tete a tete referencing 'Pyramids of Mars' and the whole Doctor Who isomorphic thing), so instead he needs to change the mind of the grumpy curmudgeon who seems to run the planet Kazran Sardick, who sounds like his name is spelt backwards. For some reason Kazran has people kept on ice in his basement while he lends people money. How he sees any return on this is unknown as he never appears to get repaid ... but a family member is kept as security for the loan. A very strange arrangement. The Doctor arrives down the chimney for no good reason other than it looks cool, and talks everyone to death for a couple of minutes before the family trying to get to see their family member is thrown out. The Doctor realises that Kazran cannot hit the child, and this shows him that Kazran is not beyond redemption. There's a nice verbal reference to 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' here with Kazran's 'Bored now!' utterance, before the Doctor leaves to try and figure out why there are fish flying in the fog. This is a lovely touch, and is quite magical - you really can accept that the little fish fly around in the fog, suspended on the ice particles therein. Beautiful idea and very well realised. But Amy and Rory and their crashing Star Trek ship have less than an hour! Good job the Doctor can travel in time then ... failing to convince Kazran by any normal means, the Doctor leaves the old man watching a video projection of his younger self, and the Doctor arrives in the video to meet the boy Kazran. This is a very well thought through conceit, that Kazran Sr can watch Kazran Jr meet the Doctor and feel his memories changing as the Doctor changes the course of his life for good. So the Doctor charms Kazran Jr and agrees to attract a fish to his bedroom using the Sonic Screwdriver ... except that it's a massive shark which comes hunting and ends up with half the screwdriver in its belly. There's lots to enjoy here as the Doctor plays leapfrog with time, allowing houseworkers to win non-existent lotteries and popping back to see Kazran Sr to get the code number for the ice vault in the basement (it's 7258 if you ever need it). The shark is dying and the Doctor intends to take it back into the sky but needs an icebox, so they choose the one which was seen at the beginning of the show, occupied by a beautiful young woman called Abigail Pettigrew. Luckily Abigail can sing beautifully and sings to the shark to calm it down. This is now starting to get a little daft and convenient. Plot going out the window as opportunity comes in its place. Why is this woman of all those in the vault the one they choose? Why is she the only one who can sing to calm the shark? And why does her casket have 000 008 on the front counter? Somehow Kazran Sr is still watching all this, but there's no evidence of the Doctor using a camera or anything, so it's all a little strange. Then, for no apparent reason (though I suspect it's to try and make Kazran Sr a nicer man) the Doctor and Kazran Jr spend the next 7 Christmas Eves waking Abigail up and heading off on many adventures together. Kazran Sr has many many photographs of everywhere they went (and it seems to be more than just 7 days). But Kazran Jr slowly grows up ... and he falls in love with Abigail. He also seems a lot older than the 18 or 20 he must be by the end (assuming he's 10 or 12 years old at the start). Kazran is told a secret by Abigail and he puts her back in the box for the last time (the number on the front is 000 001) and tells the Doctor he doesn't want to see him for any more Christmas Eves. Meanwhile (remember the Plot) Kazran's father completes his machine to control the fish (I'm not sure why he wanted to, something to do with people paying to see them, so maybe he was paid to bring sharks and the like down onto the planet for some reason ... all a little vague) but Kazran Sr still won't help the Doctor to save the crashing spaceship (and given that they had an hour to go, it feels like days have passed ... but never mind!). The Doctor tries showing him holograms of the passengers of the ship singing (no idea how he did this) and then somehow transports a hologram of Kazran to the ship so he can see it (again, no clue how this worked). It transpires that Abigail was ill when she was frozen and only had 8 days to live ... which is why the counter was counting down. But how did Kazran know that when he froze her in the first place? Why take as security for a loan someone who's going to die anyway ... he was such a hard-nosed character, that doesn't make sense at all! He would require someone that the family would want back, not someone who was about to die. And what number did all the other caskets have on them? And why a count down? If the idea was that Kazran maybe charged interest on the number of times the families had their loved ones back, then it would count up surely, so at the final reckoning, Kazran could see how much they had to repay him? As I say, this aspect really makes no sense at all. The final straw is when the Doctor allows Kazran Jr to see what he becomes, and Kazran Sr goes to hit his younger self but cannot. I wondered here what happened to that good old Doctor Who trope the Blinivitch Limitation Effect, as admirably demonstrated in that paragon of Doctor Who continuity 'Mawdryn Undead'. If the same person from two different points in their timeline meet and touch, then there is a massive explosion of energy. Except that here there isn't, and Kazran can hug his younger self with no problem whatsoever. The ship is still crashing ... remember the ship? ... but the Doctor discovers that Kazran's machine now won't respond to Kazran either as the Doctor has changed him too much! So the Doctor decides to use his broken Sonic Screwdriver to set up a resonance with the part still in the shark (which apparently has lived all this time - maybe 60 years? According to Google this might be possible though) but they need to transmit something that they know will work - Abigail's singing. So they have to break her out of cold storage again - and thus make her live her last day - singing to save the spaceship. Now the practical side of me says that the Doctor actually had a recording of Abigail singing - Kazran was watching it - so why couldn't they have played that on a loop through the Sonic to sort it all out? The Doctor didn't seem to think very laterally here, and just morosely accepted that Abigail would have to die to save everyone on the ship ... would he have done that if Amy and Rory had not been on it I wonder? So the Doctor returns Kazran Jr to his timestream, and then leaves with a rescued Amy and Rory, and Kazran Sr spends his last day with Abigail flying around in a carriage being pulled by the shark. The End. Whoah! What happened there? Why didn't the Doctor at least try and save Abigail? That's not very Doctory ... He doesn't leave people to die and not even try? We don't even know what was wrong with her, or why they knew it was exactly 8 days she had to live ... she certainly didn't seem very ill or sick in any way. I didn't like this aspect of it as it cast the Doctor in a very poor light. Rather than battling valiantly to save her, and perhaps failing, he was never seen to even try. Even Amy and Rory seemed pretty unconcerned by it all ... such a difference from 'The Fires of Pompeii' where the Doctor is forced by Donna to save just one family from the devastation ... you'd have think he'd learned something. So overall it was a rollicking ride, with some great imagery and surreal scenes of sharks and fish and crashing spacecraft. The performances were brilliant - Michael Gambon as Kazran was superb, being pig-headed and evil one moment and oozing with pathos the next; Katherine Jenkins was cast as Abigail because she can sing, and she was pretty good at all aspects of the role; Laurence Belcher was excellent as the young Kazran; and the award for the best ever actress name on television goes to Pooky Quesnel as the spaceship Captain. The regulars of Amy and Rory barely got a look in however, and one suspects that for the most part the actors were not available at the same time as the Doctor and others, necessitating a split in location which meant they never really met. 'A Christmas Carol' is perhaps the best of the Christmas Specials presented by the new series. A great piece of television, with only a few elements which fail to hold together in the cold light of Boxing Day morning. I can't wait for the next series!